Maybe I'll just let him hold me, kiss me and touch me if you do that

What are you doing? Why are you all dressed up? When I said tonight was "date night", I didn't say it was with you! No dear, you're staying home. I'm going out on a date with another man. We're going to tell everybody that I'm his wife. We'll hang out with his friends, go out to dinner, drinking and dancing, and then who knows what?

Use your imagination. You can look at all that disgusting porn on your computer while I'm gone, drink your beer, or whatever stupid things you want to do. I don't care. I've got another man now who takes care of my needs, since you're not capable of even trying anymore. Don't wait up. I might be home late, if I return at all.

No, I won't reconsider. But I tell you what. If you want to make an effort, when I get home, it would be really nice if you would clean the place, dust, mop, vacuum, and do the windows. You should wear my maid's uniform from the costume party last year. Take a picture of yourself in it, doing work, and text it to my cell phone so I can see what you're up to.

Maybe I'll just let him hold me, kiss me and touch me if you do that.

We're going to tell everybody that I'm his wife